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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150364">Come to me when you are ready</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitoLavatt/pseuds/LitoLavatt'>LitoLavatt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben needs to deal with a lot of things, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Feels, Feelings, Post-Canon, Rey Needs A Hug, im sorry for this guys, rey is in a dark place</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:21:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitoLavatt/pseuds/LitoLavatt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The galaxy’s most dysfunctional family try to work out some problems, unsurprisingly there are a lot of feelings in the Skywalker/Organa/Solo family. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or the one where Ben tires to understand why Rey cant feel him in the force and he doesn’t particularly like the answer.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Come to me when you are ready</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First fic alert!<br/>I was just writing one day, and decided to post this.<br/>And do pardon my grammar, English isn't my first language. </p>
<p>oh and welcome to angst town!</p>
<p>- Lito</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Rey had not known love in her life, not much anyway. It had started with the resistance and ended with Ben Solo. All those years on Jakku, longing for a family that never came back, longing for a different life that still is to show its face. She started as a lonely desert girl on Jakku and somehow ended up as a lonely girl on Tattooinie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe you can’t change your life in that way stories where told. Perhaps you only got one chance and hers had started with Kylo Ren and ended with Ben Solo. Ended with victory and death. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could probably spend her life trying to find a meaning, but her energy had drained, a part missing, the other half of the dyad gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt their presence, the ghosts of the past jedi, looking over her shoulder, probably muttering disappointed words about how she was letting her second chance go. They were all there, just like Luke said. All the jedi lives within her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Just not Ben Solo. She hadn’t felt him since Exegol, when he had left her all alone. It’s like he just disappeared, no trace anywhere of him. Like he never existed. Life in the galaxy seemed to have moved on, everyone else certainly had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was just Rey that was stuck in the past because someone had killed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> The wrong part of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The price of victory was too high, she knew that now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We should help her.” Luke said, turning away from his former unofficial padawan who was losing more of herself every day, soon he feared there would be nothing left but an empty shell, a ghost of the Rey he had learned to know.</p>
<p>“No this is something she must find herself out of.” His annoyance to sister muttered.</p>
<p>“Really Leia, you think she just can crawl herself out of the massive pity pit she made herself? She wallows in her sorrow so much she really could be a Skywalker.” Luke snapped.</p>
<p>“I resent that!” Anakin yelled. “Us Skywalker handle sorrow better than any other family, we just got hell of a temper, don’t mix those two things up son!”</p>
<p>As they argued on Ben sat silent, looking at his other half, unable to do anything, unable to look away as well.</p>
<p>“Easy it’s not, the one you love loose.” Ben did not look up, did not move, despite the small jedi master had snuck up on him.                                                                                  </p>
<p>Before his eyes, Rey collapsed into a sobbing mess, and His heart broke again for what probably was the thousand time.</p>
<p>“Why can’t I help her.” He whispered, not wanting an answer, resenting the world that is keeping them apart. “Why can’t she feel me like she feels the rest of you?” He felt his mother sit down beside him. Sighing as she did.</p>
<p>“You haven’t moved on Ben. As the two of you are connected you will have to be reunited for either one of you to move on and become one with the force. As you were linked in life, you shall be linked in death, but you must wait for her first.” He knew this, he had felt it as soon as he arrived to this, what ever this was. His mother and uncle where dead, one with the force, and they could to his great envy at times even interact with Rey. They could speak to her, and yet he could do nothing but wait. Wait and watch as his love and reason to live withered away in front of his very eyes.</p>
<p>“I miss her.” He croaked out, his eyes falling to the ground, avoiding his mother’s searching gaze. She took his hand; he was still not used to it. The love he felt from her, the devotion. He didn’t deserve it. All that he had done in the name of Kylo Ren, he deserved this person hell.</p>
<p>To have had the life he so desperately wanted, only for it to slip through is fingers the very next second.</p>
<p>But it had saved Rey, and Ben knew he would make that trade a thousand times over if it meant she would live.</p>
<p>Leia’s hand squeezed, forcing Ben's eyes up to hers.</p>
<p>“You need to let her go son, let her wander this part without you.” He shook his head, hearing the same words again didn’t make them any less painful. He resented them with every last bit of him. He would never let her go.</p>
<p>She needed him.</p>
<p>He needed her.</p>
<p>He hadn’t even known he had been crying until his mother wiped the tears away.</p>
<p>“Rey is stronger than you give her credit for Ben, she will manage just fine.” Anger blossomed in his chest, bubbling up over his sorrow</p>
<p>“Rey is the strongest person we have ever meet <em>mother </em>and I will not have you believe that I think she is weak.” He had to stand up, unable to handle the pain in his chest, as the black darkness of sorrow spread if possible, even further in his body. It numbed it, slowed his limbs, and stilled his heart.</p>
<p>“Don’t you understand mother, it is I who need her, she never needed me. She found the family she longed for everywhere she went, in that stormtrooper, in Maz and even in you and Han! She even found a part in Luke, that could become a family.” He was very aware that they all were watching him. He didn’t care.</p>
<p>“It is I who never had a family, no matter what you say. When I needed you, none of you where there for me.” Treacherous tears began to fall, but he made no effort to wiped them away. He glared at his mother then at his uncle. It was eerily quiet.</p>
<p>“Where were you when Snoke nestled his way into my mind?” Ben knew he wasn’t being fair, but it was the truth still.</p>
<p>“Where were you when I had no one, no one to turn to? A boy crying for help, receiving doubt from his teacher and idol.” He snarled, his narrowed eyes borrowing into Luke’s, who’s shoulders drooped. His shame clear as ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beside him Leia straightened her back, and a fury in her eyes told ben that this was far from over.</p>
<p>“You know it wasn’t our intention to have you left to that monster Ben, if we had known we would have stopped it the second we found out!”</p>
<p>“BUT YOU DIDN’T KNOW DID YOU? Did you even try to understand your broken son? It was right there mother, right in front of you, and yet you did nothing. You sent me away, left me on my own to fight demons powerful enough to bring your own father to his knees.” Leia took a step back, his words effectively shutting her up.</p>
<p>“None of you were there to help me, I searched for help where I could find it, but was always left empty handed.” Ben turned to Anakin. “Even when I turned to you, you refused to give me the answers I looked for, the family I craved.” He sat down again, slumped down, and turned his eyes back to Rey.</p>
<p>“She was the only one to believe in me, to give me hope of a future and a family. Of belonging.” He watched as Rey stood, her body frail and weaker than he had ever seen it.</p>
<p>She had been lost these few months, looking for the answer he knew would be a disappointment to her.</p>
<p>She would have to live like this, without him till the end of her days.</p>
<p>Despite being overcome with gratitude that he had been able to give his life for hers; he hadn’t meant it to be like this. For her to be lost once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She if anyone deserved better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Beside her, the droid beeped, making her smile. The smile that brought a warmth long since forgotten in his body.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry BB8, ill be fine.” The droid beeped again; Ben couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips.</p>
<p>“Not all wounds are visible, but even mine will heal.” She turned from them and began to walk back to her ship, perhaps she didn’t even know they where there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No one stopped Ben when he stood up to follow her. He wouldn’t have let them stop him anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Rey sat down at the controllers, he sat down in the empty co-pilot chair, his eyes never leaving Rey.</p>
<p>“Where to now?” She said out loud, her knuckles white as she gripped her seat hard. To his horror Ben saw tears in her eyes. He reached for her, but remembered himself, knowing it would do no good. She drew he knees up against her chest, leaning her head against them as a sob wacked trough her body. He clenched his jaw.</p>
<p>“Why did you leave me Ben?” Her words where but a whisper, still he heard them. She shook his head.</p>
<p>“Surly you must know that I never intended to, you must know that much.” His own voice barely held together, but enough to be heard over the wind blowing outside. Not that it would have made any difference. She couldn’t hear him. She never did.</p>
<p>“It still doesn’t make it any better, you still left me.” Her voice was so low he though he had imagined her words. He did a doubletake.</p>
<p>“Did you…” He swallowed, hard. “Can you hear me Rey?” He didn’t dare to believe this, it must be a cruel joke, his own mind torturing him some more.</p>
<p>“You are every voice I hear Ben, your words tormenting me, haunting me. Taunting me with all that I could have had, all that we should have had.” She heard him. His mind was spinning, she heard him, even if she didn’t believe him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now he didn’t know what to say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What was there to say?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you Rey, always and forever.” She still hadn’t lifted her head, but her shoulders weren’t shaking any more. She had stopped crying.</p>
<p>“Why must you be so cruel to say such thing when you aren’t’ even here? Why must you break my heart one more time?” As if burned ben straightened and stoop up.</p>
<p>He saw it now, what the others had been saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He needed to let her go, he did her no good staying here like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey deserved to live her life in happiness, even if that meant without him. They would have eternity later, and he could wait. He would wait for ever if that was what it would take. The words forming in his mouth felt heavy, and he clenched his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey I need you to listen to me. Listen to me.” His voice trembled, but she heard, she had lifted her head and he saw it in her eyes. She still heard him.</p>
<p>“You need to let me go.” At this she shook her head, new tears forming in her eyes.</p>
<p>“I cant do that. Ask me anything but that.”</p>
<p>“You must let me go Rey, go on with your life. Live it, find your family and make memories.” She was still shaking her head, her hand pressed against her mouth.</p>
<p>“You are not really here.” She mumbled, shaking her head. “You are not here, so you cannot tell me what to do.” Ben sighed, of course she would be stubborn about this.</p>
<p>“I will say this once, and then I’ll be gone.” Ben began, for he knew this to be true. Whatever it was that had granted them this moment, was wearing thin. Death could not be cheated, and he had been keeping it waiting long enough.</p>
<p>“We will meet again Rey, and when we do, we will spend every precious second together. Every moment that we have had stolen from us we shall have. But you need to let me go now for that to be. You need to live, be your own. If not for you, then for me Rey. I beg of you, please don’t give up now, not when you still have a fighting chance. I’ll be here, I promise. I’ll wait for you.” Ben so desperately longed to take her into her arms, to hold just once. To kiss her lips just one last time. He reached out as if to grab her, ignoring every rational part of him that scream it wouldn’t work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His fingers closed against her skin, her warmth spreading though him like wildfire. He eyes found his, finally.</p>
<p>Suddenly she stood up, facing him, her hands on his shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt <em>real</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And in that moment, he didn’t care if it was or wasn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulled her closer, pressing her body against his, his hands mapping out her too thin body, and hers settling in his hair. Then he kissed her, pressing his lips against hers hard enough to leave bruises. Time stood still and yet an eternity passed. They where forever lost in each other, refusing to face the reality of the invetable end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey broke away first, the ghost or her lips fluttering against his.</p>
<p>“Promise me you’ll live your life Rey. Promise me you will try.” She nodded, and he pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you.” She whispered against his lips, and that was the last he heard before he felt death spread its cold darkness around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I will wait for you Rey. Come to me when you are ready.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
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<p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Pretty please leave me a comment to read over and over again. i need validation.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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